Impenitent
by chillian
Summary: Clark doesn't regret it, not really


DISCLAIMER: Guess what! I don't own them and if you sue you'll get nothing. Ha ha ha!  
  
SUMMARY: Clark doesn't regret it, not really.  
  
FEEDBACK: Please! I love your opinions  
  
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9:37 pm  
  
It was night, cool and black. The stars were like diamonds on a bed of black velvet and Clark felt that maybe he could touch them. Just pluck one from the sky and keep it in his pocket, his very own star, if he could force his arm to reach up and do it. But then he'd have to look at those hands so he left the stars in the sky.  
  
Clark never wanted to look at his hands again; they would be stained with blood long after he had washed it away. Lex's blood, blood that was drying and causing his fingers to itch. The blood that was caked under his nails and in the lines of his hands.  
  
He looked at his feet and the body that lay curled around them, the smooth head no longer white, not even whole. Splashes of crimson and gray matter clinging to the splintered skull and hands balled into loose fists.  
  
If he just pushed the head to the right and squinted it looked like Lex was sleeping. His piercing blue eyes hidden behind thin lids, protecting images of the dreams Clark could not see. But Lex was not sleeping and he would never dream again.  
  
He hadn't wanted it to be this way, never would have let it be this way, but he had seen. Through the eyes of a dead woman he had seen.  
  
He could have been in the loft watching a movie with Chloe, Pete, and Lana. Laughing without a care in the world. Instead he was standing in some old field with his friend's crumpled body lying at his feet wondering what to do now.  
  
Clark knelt down and pulled Lex's corpse into his arms, it was still warm. The broken head fell against his arm, the mouth opening slightly as if he were getting ready to take a breath. Clark pulled Lex closer, rocking gently like a child who needed comforting. He was soft and pliable and Clark wondered when rigi mortis would set in.  
  
He wished that someone would see him then because he wouldn't have to think about how to hide what he had done. The police would come and he would probably be put away for the rest of his life. A small price to pay for saving those he loved from what the future held.  
  
"Curiosity killed the cat Lex; didn't your father ever teach you that one?" The words made him laugh; though he didn't find them amusing. Lex would have thought of some other, more sophisticated saying as a retort. Napoleon or Alexander the Great, not a moral from a Greek slaves simple mind.  
  
There Clark sat, in the middle of a corn field; a billionaire's body in his arms, blood on his hands; and he couldn't stop laughing. This wasn't how he planned it but this was how it ended.  
  
8:12 pm  
  
"Lex we should go for a Sunday drive." They had been watching some old movie after a late supper. A stupid grin was plastered on Clark's face and it was beginning to hurt. Like his heart.  
  
"A drive Clark? Isn't it a little late to be cruising slowly through Smallville? Besides, it isn't even Sunday." Lex wasn't laughing at him but his smile held a hint of, "Oh, Clark".  
  
"I just feel like getting away from the castle, we've been stuck here for three days doing nothing. I'm getting a touch of cabin fever or something."  
  
"Are you trying to say you would have liked spending the time in someone else's company? You didn't have to stay."  
  
"That isn't what I mean, I just want to get outside."  
  
" I know, I was just teasing, where'd your sense of humor go?" Lex rose from the leather chair and grabbed a light jacket from the back. "Where to?"  
  
*  
  
They did not speak during the drive, Clark didn't think he could carry on a conversation and Lex seemed to sense that he needed the silence. Clark watched the scenery move by at ever increasing speeds, listening to the soft rumble of the engine. It felt almost normal, like they were just going for a trip to the Talon, late dose of caffeine and camaraderie.  
  
"Let's pull over for a bit, it's such a wonderful night, I want to look at the stars." The words sounded far away and left a plastic taste on his tongue.  
  
Lex steered onto the shoulder, the engine slowly turning to a quiet hum. It sounded almost musical, like a song that he couldn't remember the words too. Lex flipped the headlights off and walked over to the passenger's side, opening the door.  
  
Clark stepped onto the cold ground and walked into the field, Lex would follow, no need to worry. Already, he could hear the expensive shoes picking their way through the yellow grass and patches of mud.  
  
He stopped under a tree that had been left to grow, alone in the field, and waited for the young billionaire to catch up. The car looked small, like a little toy, and Clark wished they had parked in a more secluded spot.  
  
"Clark why did you want to come out here? This isn't about cabin fever and stars is it?" Uncertainty flashed on his face as he took the last steps to reach Clark. He seemed to get smaller somehow, the ever-present power and arrogance fading with each movement.  
  
"Tell me what is happening, I think I deserve that much." There was no fear in his voice and Clark didn't know if it was an act or reality.  
  
"What do you deserve Lex? After all you've seen, what do you deserve." His voice was emotionless, almost monotone, and he didn't move other than the muscle flickering in his jaw. "You saw the way it could be, the pain and suffering. This is the only way to stop it." The calmness should have scared him but it only served to make his resolve stronger. This was the only way to save those he loved and the ones he didn't know.  
  
Lex didn't seem surprised or even shaken by the little speech and Clark wondered if he had seen this too. "You don't have to do this."  
  
They stood alone in a Kansas field staring at each other and Clark wished that Lex was right. "Yes, Lex, I do."  
  
9:49 pm  
  
Lex had kissed him just before he died, just walked into Clark's arms and pressed against him. It was soft but insistent, like their first time. Lex hadn't meant it as surrender or even a good-bye, but a gift, something to make this easier on Clark. Clark hadn't kissed him back  
  
That had made it easier to grasp Lex's head and push it into the tree. The dull crack of bone against wood still left Clark gasping for air and trying to keep the little food he'd eaten in his stomach, but it had been easier. Lex had accepted what must be done.  
  
Clark laid Lex in the grave, carefully arranging his arms across his chest. He looked peaceful in death and Clark hoped that he was happy wherever you went when you stopped living. Maybe he should say a few words but there were none that could describe how he felt at that moment, Lex was gone.  
  
Something wet dropped onto the body and Clark realized he was crying. Tears were slipping down his cheeks onto Lex's face, tracing a path through some of the dried blood and running into the dirt below. He climbed from the shallow hole and began to fill it in, with every thud of dirt a piece of his soul was buried with his best friend. He knew he would never be whole again.  
  
End 


End file.
